Sick of the world (A sick Junkrat fic)

Junkrat wasn’t sure what to do. He felt trapped. Worse than any prey stuck in one of his steel traps, that he was certain.  At least they got the privilege to die. Being alive was much harder and hurt a lot more, he was sure of that too.

Radiation sickness ate him up from the inside. His appetite seemingly healthy to those around him but they were never around when he allowed himself to be weak. To let the nausea eat away at his insides till he could finally upchuck into the toilet. Today was no different.

Junkrat knelt in front of the toilet with his head bowed, arms folded around back of it for support as his vision swam. Sweat prickling his skin in a manner that only served to make him actually feel as filthy as those around him liked to point out and sneer whenever he was just within ear shot. 

Name calling was nothing. Hell, the name he crafted for himself wasn’t exactly seen as wholesome but he loved it and he was a survivor. A filthy little rat that the world just couldn’t snuff out and if he was stuck in this shit hole world to suffer, than he was going to have fun watching it burn around him. That was when he wasn’t confined to the bathroom. Right now the world was safe for the moment.

“Come on already,” he whined. “Either get it on and over with or just go back to the normal pain.” Junkrat didn’t seem to understand that being in pain all the time was not most people’s normal. It was just something he was accustomed to but being too weak to stand- that he knew was not.

The junker taking to clenching his stomach muscles to try and further agitate his stomach. That amped up the dizziness and he wracked his brain for something disgusting to dwell on while he clenched and uncleanched.

It only took a half dozen tries but soon his eyes were closed and shoulders bobbed as he vomited. The sickly noise ringing in his ears like tinnitus but once he managed to stop he had let his head roll to the side over his mechanical arm. The metal hard but also cooler than the air around him which helped ease some of his discomfort. 

That was better but he still felt off. Taking time to catch his breath, Junkrat groaned when he caught whiff of his former breakfast and lazily reached up with his left hand to flush. He then promptly allowed himself to slide off to the side and lay on the even cooler tiled floor for good measure. 

He hated the thought of what people would say if they could see him like this. Hated the idea of them finding him more disgusting or worse- the fact they might actually start to pity him. That was the last thing he needed. No one cared before but if they were going to pretend to like him after all the shit he done then it was going to be for his unruly genius not because they felt bad for him for puking his guts out every other day. 

“Come on,” he began to encourage himself. “Time to get up.” 

It took a bit more will than he liked to sit up and even more to reach up for the nearby sink edge. Hands grasping the sink basin to help pull himself up. Knees weak and nearly bumping into one another but he managed to stand with the sink’s support. 

“Breath,” he instructed only to follow with a grimace upon seeing himself. Sure. He was a mess just like everyone said but they would never get to see just how right they really were. He was never going to give them the luxury. 

A shaky hand turned on the water and he leaned forward, other hand cupping the water to his mouth as he washed out the sickly sour taste. Finding more strength to stand, Junkrat tried to move back from the sink, water still running.

Good. He was starting to feel better, even if his belly was now trying to protest because it was empty yet again. 

Choosing to ignore his stomach’s needs, Junkrat took a moment again to wet his hands and run them along the back of his neck. The hot sweat from before rubbing off as he stroked his fingers along the sooty backside of his neck. That felt good and he knew he would feel even better if he were to wet his face and cool off.

Wanting quicker results, Junkrat went for it. Hands splashing water over his face and making a right mess on the floor. The white basin streaked with dark grey as soot and grime was incidentally washed away. The tap shut off and then the junker quickly moved to yank out an unnecessary amount of paper-towels to dry himself off with before cramming them into the rubbish bin. A few had drifted to the floor and vainly tried to soak up the watery mess Junkrat had made in his efforts to make himself feel better.

He hardly made it out the door when he narrowly avoided running chest first into Roadhog’s tummy. The act of twisting himself around to avoid the collision further upsetting Junkrat’s own gut so he hissed in annoyance. “Watch it!”

Roadhog rolled his eyes. Something he was sure his boss knew he did quite often when he had a tantrum but knew he also couldn’t prove because of his mask. “You alright?”

“Course I’m alright,” Junkrat barked. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Your face.” It was clean. Well, cleaner than usual. He could see an extra freckle or two that would normally be caked under a layer of grit. 

“Yeah. I got one. Unlike someone.”Junkrat hoped that would get his bodyguard off his back and it seemed to do the trick. At the very least he heard a disgruntled grunt before the big lug tilted his head to show he wanted Junkrat to follow him.

“Where we going?”

Roadhog remained quiet. Unlike everyone else, he knew Junkrat wasn’t well but he had the decency to play dumb if it meant he would handle it quietly on his own. Fortunately he knew sleep would help the rat out if he could just get him to lay down for a while. The hard part was going to be convincing Junkrat it was his own idea to try and sleep.