My sweetheart got me a tablet for v-day and my stupid ass can’t make heads or tails out of instruction manual that is only 4 little pages in Eglish so… welp.
No no marik i like it more when your hair is down and you dont try to copy the pharaohs spiky hair.
EXCUSE YOU AGAIN!
That dusty old corpse looks nothing like me. If anyone comes close it is Yugi’s much more sensible grandpa.
See, multiple spikes of nice hair that show there is lots of strands to make it up.
VS
This idiot who looks like he has one solid piece of plastic to make up 90% of his stiff, never going to move in the wind, suffocating his scalp, brick hair with accented semi-reasonable (if only because they can more freely in the wind) blond bangs.
Solomon is clearly what a love child of Marik and Yami/Yugi would look like if it were old.
after dying god informs you that hell is a myth, and “everyone sins, its ok”. instead the dead are sorted into six “houses of heaven” based on the sins they chose.
We arrived first at the House of Lust. “House” is a misleading term. It was more of a camp, spread over acres and acres of lush forest. There was a white sandy beach (nude, of course) full of copulating couples. There were little cabins sprinkled all along the path, from which orgasmic moans regularly came belting out. Men with six pack abs and women with perky breasts strolled by without even noticing me and God. They only had eyes for each other, tickling and pinching each other with flirtatious giggles.
“What do you think?” God asked as we passed a nineteen-way taking place in a pool of champagne. Little cherubs flitted overhead armed with mops and cleaning supplies, thankfully. “Lust is our most popular sin.” I eyed the supermodel-like figures of a couple passing nearby, and could easily see why. “You can look however you want. Hell, you can be whatever gender you want. No fetish is too taboo, and no desire can be denied here.”
It was quite tempting, but I wasn’t ready to make a permanent decision here. “Let’s see the others,” I told God.
We carried on to Greed. We passed rows and rows of mansions, each more opulent than the next. Some of them were so large that they would have had enough bed rooms to fit my entire hometown. And so many different styles: one second, we were in a beautiful French vineyard in front of a gorgeous chateau with the Alps in the background. The next second, a warm tropical beach with a modern mansion atop breathtaking cliffs. After that, a ski chalet in Colorado with a roaring fire in a hearth large enough to fit an ox. Each one had various Italian sports cars and Rolls Royces parked in front, with the occasional smattering of boats, helicopters, etc.
“Any material desire you ever wanted,” God explained. “Your own world, where you can have everything. You want the Hope Diamond? You can fly to Washington DC in your own solid gold helicopter and buy it from the Smithsonian. Hell, you can just buy the Smithsonian.”
Also tempting, but I decided to keep looking.
Gluttony was next up. Tables and tables of the very finest foods: beautiful steaks cooked medium rare; butter-poached lobster tail; fresh oysters on a half shell; exotic wines in dusty bottles that had been hiding in the cellars of the world’s finest restaurants. Everyone had a glass of champagne in hand and simply lounged on couches and chairs near the tables, eating endlessly. As soon as the inhabitants took a bite, the food just instantly came back. My mouth watered even watching them.
“In every other House, the food is practically sawdust compared to Gluttony,” God explained. “You haven’t truly experienced heaven until you’ve been to Gluttony.”
I shook my head, and we kept moving.
Sloth was as you’d expect. An endless sea of the softest mattresses, stacked with cushions and pillows that made the story of the princess and the pea seem minimalist. Little angels visited each resident, giving them massages that made them all melt into their blankets.
Wrath was… well, a lot like what I’d expect Hell to be like. Fire, brimstone, whips, torture.. you know, the works. Except here, you weren’t the one being tortured. Every enemy you’d ever made in your real life was now under your thumb. “Lots of people choose their fathers,” God explained. “Lots of grudges against parents in general, you know. But you’re not limited to that. Someone beat you out for a big promotion back on Earth? Take your pound of flesh here.”
Then we arrived at Envy. It looked… well, a lot like home.
“Go on in,” God said, gesturing toward the door. I turned the knob and walked in… and found Emily waiting inside. She ran forward, wrapped her arms around my neck, and planted a kiss right on my lips. “Welcome home, honey.”
I looked back toward God. “Oh, don’t be coy,” he said. “You have no secrets from me. We all know that you were in love with your best friend’s wife.” She didn’t seem to hear him at all; she went back into the hall. “We all know that you just settled for your own wife while secretly pining after her. Well, this is your chance to live happily ever after.”
I peered into the kitchen. Emily was baking something, wearing nothing but an apron. Her curly black hair fell softly over her shoulder as she whisked ingredients. She turned back, noticed I was observing her, and an enthusiastic smile spread across her face.
“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?” God whispered in my ear.
I wanted to take it. God damn did I want to take it. But I shook my head.
God seemed puzzled. “You need to make a decision,” he told me.
“I haven’t seen Pride yet.”
He scoffed. “No one ever wants Pride, trust me.”
“Well, I want to see it.”
_________________________
Pride was boring. Just a row of workbenches in a bare white room.
“I don’t get it,” I told God.
“Yeah, no one does,” he answered. “That’s why no one ever chooses it. Doesn’t cavorting in Lust sound better than sitting here building little trinkets for the rest of eternity? Wouldn’t you rather gorge yourself in Gluttony? Or spend time with Emily in Envy?”
I considered the options again. “I pick Pride,” I finally told him.
He narrowed his eyes. “What? Look at it!” He gestured around the room again. There wasn’t much to look at. “Why would you choose this for the rest of time?”
“Because you don’t want me to pick it,” I told him. If he was really God, he’d know what a contrarian I can be. And I knew he was hiding something, trying to pretend like Pride didn’t exist. There was something special about it.
God scowled back. “Fine.” He led me over to one of the workbenches. In the center, there was a black space. A blank, empty void that went on forever. “Here’s your universe,” he said. “You’ve got seven days to get started.” He took his seat at the bench next to me and went back to tinkering in his own world. After a long pause, he finally spoke again: “You know, it might be nice for me to actually have some company for once.”
FUCKING I MEAN.
IT’S LIKE 7AM AND I LOVE GONNA REBLOG SO I CAN READ THIS SHIT AGAIN
The concept though was the sides all being a bit paranoid of Deceit being amongst them and trying to figure out if he was there so they do a “Spy Check!” like in TF2 as initiated by Logan asking each of them to say his name and they all succeed so he clasps his hands together and gives a sigh of relief as it seems they are all in the clear. Virgil though remains a bit skeptical and quizzes Logan but he goes off spouting seemingly accurate things so Roman dismisses it saying something like “That is our nerdy lexicon of knowledge!” so they proceed to try and help Thomas with one of his issues only for Logan to give his seemingly usual advice but it has one of those horrible double meanings. Expample words being:
Cleave – To split/to mend Trim – To decorate/cut off.
Resign – To quit/to sign up
Screen – To show/to hide
Oversight – To supervise/to disreguard Later though Virgil is seen with a book saying not to mind him when asked by Patton in what he is doing only to near the end of the video releave a small dictionary he had in front of the larger book and proceeeds to call out Logan forcing Deceit to be revealed and he chuckles as he drops the act.
Everything else I haven’t thought out but tell me what you think?
My favorite thing is still the fact that Thundercracker canonically writes screenplays abour humans and yet does not know how long the average human lifespan is
This multi million year old alien robot can learn every language on the planet in like a minute and has full access to the internet. He has like 5 human friends and a dog. No clue how many years a human being is supposed to live
Well, to be honest it was one of the only two other names I ever saw given to him apart from Bakura which I just can not get behind. Kazuki has always made characters look spot on like another if he wanted them related by past lives or with just a very minor bit of changes to them so to me Thief King is not a true Bakura but rather some other unfortunate soul lured into working for Zorc. (This is cleared up more in the manga when the hold over him is severed and Thief King screams in panic having no idea where he is and what is even going on.) That aside, the name was first used on a Japanese website by fans so when we finally got ahold of it that was what was used in fanfictions all over and how I got my hands on it. I think it’s great, has a personality of it’s own, and overall is much easier then saying Thief King every single time when refuring to the bandit. I also made some friends so time ago, one who favored Akefia and called him by that too, my other friend into Bakura, and me into Marik so we were the PIC for a while. I miss them but they broke off from the fandom to go better find themselves and I wish them nothing but the best of good luck and should they look back that they remember our time together fondly.
I’m fucking losing it at Logan ignoring the Avengers
Avengers: Hey Logan share your popcorn.
Logan: What popcorn?
the avengers: hey logan whats your number we need to add you to the group chat
logan, visibly texting the x men: i dont have a phone
And here I just immediatly thought it was because he was short and with only one row in front of him no one would be dumb enough to sit directly in front of him.
I am Terra 